Four years of a rollercoaster ride

A marriage of four years, a courtship of fourteen... Doesn't seem like very long when we look at exceedingly cute Ajobas and Ajjis who've been together forever! But when we look at the journey we've travelled so far- from where we started and where we're at now, it does seem a big deal!

We were kids when we first got together- teens in our first few years at college... That was an era before everyone had access to mobile phones. We'd have long conversations on the landline (with exhorbitant bills for our parents to pay!!!) Long handwritten letters too... And with the advent of technology, moved on from SMSes, emails, and various Messengers, video calls... And now, it may just be a whatsapp message asking- 'Had food?' But the emotion behind it remains unchanged. And so does the mutual longing for sharing every tiny detail and yet being comfortable in our space!

We're moved on from romantic candle-lit dinner- dates to 'Netflix and chill in pajamas', balancing a box of medium pizza each on our paunches... We've moved on from wanting 'us' time to drives with Caesar in the back-seat, whining at stray dogs, entertaining us with his antics... We've moved on from a phase where we just couldn't get our hands off one another, to comfortable silences, doing nothing at all... We've dressed up for each other, and seen each other at their sloppiest best... 

When we were newly 'in love', I would often hope we'd never outgrow that phase- that I'd feel the same adrenaline rush, have the same starry-eyed face when I looked at him, thought about 'us'... But if you ask me to trade what we have now for that- I'm sorry! I won't do that for anything in the world!

It's just the feeling of being so 'sorted' in life- of knowing your priorities, of being on the same team, of absolute trust, respect, and most importantly, of being best friends before anything else!

A lot of newly- engaged couples ask us how we do it... How we have so different professions, such different likes and dislikes, and yet always end up on the same page! And how we've managed to stay calm though it...

It isn't really difficult. To make a marriage work, you need to 'want' it to work! It does take a lot of effort, but what gives it the twist is absolute honesty, communication and it ultimately boils down to the one inexplicable thing that JK Rowling wrote a saga on- love!

Of course we fight, of course we have our differences! But there's nothing that an honest conversation cannot sort out! When it comes to each-other, we leave our egos aside. There are no insecurities- there are just chances to be better people. To be very honest, Viren first proposed to me (an unforgiving Grammar Nazi) in a grammatically erroneous way! I said yes because I loved him. But today, his English vocabulary is outrageously vast, and there have been instances where HE has pointed out my mistakes... That's when I feel all warm towards him, and respect him even more for the fact that he did not turn his ignorance about the language into an inferiority complex, but looked at it as a chance to be perfect!

He's the person I grew fat with, and now he's my fitness buddy! I've always been an 'indoor' person- someone who'd devour two fat novels a day, but cringe at the thought of 'going out to play'! When we first started going out for walks, I'd huff and puff. We started interspersing our walks with short jogs- I'd be tired after half a kilometer! One day he ran 5 kilometres at a stretch! "How the hell did you do that?!" I asked. "It isn't physical," he told me, "It's all in the mind." 

"No, but I don't think I could do it! I can't breathe if I continue running beyond a point!" I whined.

"Manasi," he looked at me and said, "I weigh 15 kilos more than you do! And if I was able to do it, I don't see why you can't! You've to NOT GIVE UP even if you feel you're tired. Give yourself short goals... Think you want to run till that post, when you reach there, think of the next short goal. After a point you'd realise you aren't tired at all!" 

I didn't believe him, rather, I didn't believe I could do it. But just because he had said so, I thought I'd give it a shot. And guess what? It did work! I was able to run 2 kilometres without stopping!

Everyday he motivates me, encourages me to be better. There's nobody to compete with but myself! I've to outdo what I did yesterday!

Getting married was all about being surprised- even if we had known each other for a very long time before we tied the knot, there were a lot of tiny things we had to live with for the first time ever. I had known his family, and they loved me even before I officially became a part of them. But I was still apprehensive, of how I would 'manage'. I'd been spoilt by my Mom- never had to do a thing in my home! And I had to leave all that and settle down in a new environment altogether... That was when his words gave me confidence- "You are in this family, in this house, because of me. And if I am not able to keep you happy, it would mean that I have failed as a husband. Do not forget, no matter what happens, we're always on the same team!"

And those haven't been just shallow words- he's meant them, and lived up to them, as we've seen on several occasions in the past four years! And that's how I've been able to gel in confidently, and become an integral part of the household! And of course, I also have a wonderful family to give credit to!

There have been so many milestones, so many achievements, so many ups and downs we've gone through together. And the sense of satisfaction, the 'we've done it!' feeling is what makes life worthwhile. He's stood by me through all my decisions- a few very unconventional ones, and made sure I emerged unscathed and victorious! His words of 'wisdom' are what I trust blindly, because this is a person who I know would ALWAYS have nothing but my best interests at heart.

I've chosen a person to have all my meals with, to share little details of my day with, to annoy, to go on holidays with, to hold and to love for the rest of my life- and I don't think I could have chosen any better!

As we celebrate four years as husband and wife, and look forward to growing older and wiser together, I'd just like to say- May we have several moments of unspoken understanding, poop jokes and giggles... Life may not turn out the way we'd imagined it to, but with your hand holding mine, I'm sure we'd be just fine!